House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
Starring: Sid Haig, Karen Black, Bill Moseley
Writer: Rob Zombie
Director: Rob Zombie
****spoiler heavy throughout****
Synopsis:
Two couples --Bill and Mary, Jerry and Denise-- are on a cross country road trip with plans to land at Denise's father's house for Halloween. Along the way, they are documenting weird roadside attractions, and they come across Captain Spaulding's Museum of Monsters and Madmen. It's a horror fans wet dream. Gas, fried chicken, horror memorabilia, all topped off by a murder ride displaying famous serial killers. Inside the ride, the story of local legend Dr. Satan grabs Jerry's attention, and he simply must go see the infamous tree where Satan was hung before they head out. On the way to the tree, the group pick up a sexy redneck hitchhiker named Baby and garner a flat tire in the middle of a hellish rainstorm. Baby talks them into going to her family's house to chill until her brother can fix their car. It's Halloween eve, and the family are hardcore about celebrating the holiday.
Rant:
When Universal backed out of releasing House of 1000 Corpses, I actually thought it would never see the light of day. I just figured it would be one of those movies you'd have to hunt down on Ebay or at conventions in bootleg form. It was pretty disappointing. Not because I am some avid Rob Zombie fan; I'm actually not. At least, not from a musician standpoint. I did like White Zombie's La Sexorcisto (I didn't discover the earlier stuff until much later, and am not too big on it), but the follow up stuff did nothing for me. Once Zombie went solo, forget it. I appreciate that his lyrics largely reference horror films, but I think the band itself is just trendy techno metal radio bullshit. No offense to fans, it's just not my thing. Though, I will say it's fun as hell to see live. Anyway, it was disappointing to see House get shafted as it did, because it just simply seemed like a horror film I would love the fuck out of. Luckily, Zombie bought the rights back from Universal some time later and sold it to Lion's Gate.
House got a limited theatrical release. There was only one theater in Orlando showing it. Had there been none, I would've drove every bit of 500 miles to see it. I didn't give a fuck; I had to experience it on the big screen. This is a perfect example of a movie with good crowd participation. It was loud in the theater room and there wasn't a single empty seat. Though, this wasn't your obnoxious group of commentators or assholes making cell calls... it was a mass crowd of people that had been waiting just as long as I had to see Zombie's debut film. It was a fucking blast. Probably one of the best theatrical experiences I've ever had. As soon as the “Fried Chicken and Gasoline” sign is shown over Capt. Spaulding's Museum of Monsters and Madmen, everybody was laughing right along with me. At that point, I already knew I was going to love this film, and I was right. No, House of 1000 Corpses isn't some original work of fucking genius. It borrows from everything. But its throwback sensibilities, crazy characters and random bizarreness give it such a high replay value. After seeing it on the big screen I couldn't wait for a DVD release, so I managed to hunt down a work print VHS off of Ebay (actually just hours before the seller got banned for distributing it). I must have watched that sum'bitch twenty or more goddamned times over the course of two months. I showed it to everyone I knew, watched it alone severely drunk and stoned... I didn't give a fuck. It never got old. Once the DVD came out, it became more of a watch every year thing for me, but I still love it just as much as the first time I saw it at the cinema with about 200 other screaming fans.
First, I want to talk about this film on a visual level. One of the biggest gripes from people is that it looks like an “Mtv” video. Said statement is more annoying and tired than the “Torture Porn” term, but they are right. It does look like a video... a GOOD one. People still use that “It looks like an Mtv video” line to this day when they describe a “sleek and flashy” movie, and it no longer even makes sense to me. Maybe because I haven't watched Mtv in about 8 fucking years or so --not counting the first episode of Death Valley-- and the last time I tried, it was a goddamned chore trying to find an actual video.
Anyway, back to House. The film starts out with a grainy retrospective nod to creature feature hosts from back in the day, and I am a sucker for this kind of shit. As much as I loved this ingredient when it was used in Ti West's The Roost, it seems more at home in Zombie's film. Dr. Wolfenstein is very reminiscent of a few of the hosts I grew up watching. The Spaulding commercial that cuts in immediately afterward is equally awesome and makes me wish that this place existed. All of the grainy stuff was filmed after the fact by Zombie with a camcorder. Sometimes in is basement, other times at FX guru Wayne Toth's makeup shop. I love the fuck out of this stuff.
The use of coloring in this film is brilliant. The exterior of Spaulding's gas station is lit with bright green, giving off that adequate carnival look. Denise's dreams are shown in solarized fashion, and wow, this girl's mind produces some fucked visuals. The best would be a dream she has of the skunk ape --commonly known as Bigfoot-- and a sexual relationship it has with a human. Weird shit. Similar to Denise's dreams are Baby's flashbacks, which display her enjoyment of fucking the dead and running around naked in the midst of flames. It's hot. The flashback of Tiny being burned by Father Earl is in the same fashion. Back to cool use of lighting: the scene of Otis trying to explain his Manson-esque philosophy on life to a group of kidnapped cheerleaders. Several times the camera jumps back and forth from standard color to the scene covered in red whorehouse-like lighting. It sets a tone of inevitable impending doom on the victims. There's a lot of split screen camera work, too, most notably in the horror ride section of Spaulding's gas station. Sometimes showing different angles of Spaulding as he narrates the ride; other times it shows the couple's reactions to the stories Spaulding is spitting out to them. Split scenes are also used during the show that the Firefly family puts on for the ill fated group while they're waiting for their car to be repaired.
Also a big fan of the steadicam sequences, especially in the beginning with the camera operator frantically running up to the front door of Spaulding's gas station. During the finale, there's a bad ass dolly zoom down an endless looking walkway of wall covered corpses. Fucking epic. Very Texas Chainsaw 2 influenced. I was put off by a split lens scene that displays Denise in the forefront of the screen with the Professor/Earl coming up behind her. Split lens has to have a lot of care put into it, otherwise it takes you out of the experience. Like in many movies, here it's too fucking blurry in the middle of the screen. I feel like if you can't pull it off correctly, don't even bother. I do dig Zombie's obvious boner for classic horror, though. Many a scene displays great films like The Wolf Man, The Old Dark House, House of Frankenstein and The Munsters being shown on TV. Dig it. Lastly, the set of the Firefly house. The place --which is the same house used in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas-- is freakish as shit. One room has an entire wall painting of the Creature From the Black Lagoon one sheet. The exterior has doll heads from Baby's collection nailed to the front porch. Inside, there are rooms where wallets and keys from past victims are hung all over the place. The whole place epically gives off the image that the family has had their asses knee deep in carnage and satanic debauchery for a long fucking time.
House of 1000 Corpses is definitely one of those films that seems made for the liking of the the killers instead of the victims. The group of unlucky youngsters are composed of two kinda cool dudes stuck in relationships with two lame ass chicks. I'm sorry, but that's how it is. Rainn Wilson and Chris Hardwicke are pretty awesome as the besties, Bill and Jerry. Jerry is the more likable of the two, and had the dude been on his own, he may have ended up living comfortably with the Firefly family. Bill, the more dorky type, isn't as likable, but I still dug on his Sci-Fi nerd persona. Jennifer Jostyn plays Mary (Bill's girlfriend) and Erin Daniels plays Denise (Jerry's lady). While I don't like either character, I'm not really supposed to, the performances are good. Mary is the worst, with her snobby ass hatred for all things horror and Halloween. Fuck her.
There's way too many characters for me to do a full breakdown, and mostly everybody here is giving their all. Bill Moseley not only plays Otis (who is one of the finest characters. A mix of Manson and Johnny Winters), but also plays Ed Gein in the flashback murder scene ride, as well as a local newscaster in a TV segment. Sid Haig is another show stealer as Captain Spaulding, and his performance has put the character at icon status. Dammit, I want to keep going, but to keep it brief, Karen Black, the late Dennis Fimple, and the late Matthew McGrory all rule as the family. Plus, while Sheri Moon may not be an Earth shattering actress, she's fantastic eye candy, and there's something perversely hot about her high pitched voice. And holy fuck sexy to when she's wearing Bill's Weezer nerd glasses. Lastly, Tom Towles and Walton Goggins as the police officers have amazing chemistry together.
Big fan of Wayne Toth's SFX, and it's always distinctly obvious when he has his hands in the game. House of 1000 Corpses isn't nearly as graphic as mainstreamers make it out to be, but there's a good amount of grue in it. Roll Call: gory head shot from Captain Spaulding, Fishboy, The skinning scene of Denise's father is a favorite and has Toth's Lurking Fear written all over it, awesome Dr. Satan and Professor Earl makeup, the ghouls in the coffin mudpit are creepy as shit, stabbing rabbit scene, Jerry's head skin being pulled over, the artistic bone entrance to Dr. Satan's waiting room, and more!
As I previously mentioned not being a fan of Rob Zombie's music, I do dig the soundtrack and score used for this movie. The use of The Commodores, Slim Whitman, The Ramones and Buck Owens make for some of the best segments this movie has to offer. And truthfully, I didn't mind the songs Zombie provided, either. Particularly the theme song. Moreover, the score written by Zombie and Scott Humphrey is awesomely retrospective to old school horror. As far as the soundtrack released for the film... how I wish they had went with the actual Commodores version of Brick House instead of the fucking Rob Zombie cover. That shit is awful.
Random awesomeness:
- Missing Dog Head
- Captain Spaulding's amazing T-shirt choices
- Tiny's bad ass turtle neck skull and crossbones sweater
- Tiny's eating habits. P.S. - the "Cheap Ass Halloween Costume" shirt rules, as does "Agatha Crispies" cereal
- "Listen, you Malibu middle class Barbie piece of shit, I'm tryin' to work here. Work? You ever work? Yeah, I'll bet you have. Scoopin' ice cream to your shit-heel friends on summer break. Well I ain't talkin' about no goddamn white socks with Mickey Mouse on one side and Donald Duck on the other. I ain't readin' no funny books, mama. Our bodies come and go but this blood... is forever."
- The Slim Whitman slo-mo montage is hands down one of my favorite scenes ever. The anticipation of that gunshot is brutal!
- Goober, er, Gerry Ober rules
- A mudpit burial to audio of Aleister Crowley reciting "The poet". Fuckin' freaky
I could honestly make this review double in size and I still wouldn't be done expressing my ass kissery. I love me the fuck out of some House of 1000 Corpses.
