Wizards And Worriers: Man's Best Friend (1993)

Man's Best Friend (1993)

Starring: Ally Sheedy, Lance Henriksen, Max

Written and Directed By: John Lafia

****SPOILERS THROUGHOUT****

Synopsis:

TV personality Lori (Ally Sheedy) is trying to exploit some fishy shit going on at EMAX, a research facility that runs cruel ass tests on animals to save human lives. She gets a hush-hush invite from an employee at the facility, but once the lady doesn't show at their planned meeting place, Lori decides to break in on her own. With the news camera rolling, she and her trusty sidekick walk into a fucking nightmare; cages and cages of mistreated animals with unspeakable wounds, all appropriately named for their inevitable demise --Goner is one name, for instance. Many of the animals are on the endangered list, so one can understand Lori's bewilderment once she discovers the facility's most prized possession is a dog named Max. But he aint no ordinary household pet; this pooch is expertly trained. He can leap over fences, shopping carts, fuck a burglar's day up, and more! Once Lori and her camera girl get caught in the facility recording the carnage, they rush the hell out like Patrick Dempsey in Run, and Max joins them in their exit. Lori and Max become besties (against her boyfriend's wishes), but mad scientist Dr. Jarret (Lance Henriksen) wants his dog back. More importantly, without his meds, Max is a ticking time-bomb, so things are about to get a little hairy up in here!

Review:

Man's Best Friend is a 'leave your brain at the door' type flick if you wanna have fun with it, and there's plenty of fun to be had. How in the hell could anyone not like the idea of a Terminator-like version of Cujo? Max is cute, suave and lethal all rolled into one. A goofy horror film about a dog who contains the DNA of a jaguar, an owl, a panther and a mother fucking chameleon = pretty awesome. Now, the movie's definitely not perfection by any means; there's some particularly annoying characters, and there's not much depth to anything here... but who gives a damn? You get a bad ass Tibetan Mastiff mowing these annoying bastards down, and lots of cool direction taking you through this quick ride of animal horror.

Gonna start off with the nitpicking, though. First big annoyance: The fucking duo of Detective Kovacs and Detective Bendetti, played by Robert Costanzo and John Cassini, respectively. Dammit, I love me the shit out of some buddy cop characters. The cheesier, the better. Furthermore, I dig when buddy cop characters have the underlying theme of wanting to bang each other. When I don't get either element, it's a bit disappointing. Kovacs and Bendetti don't deliver, they don't even work as funny bumbling idiots. It's just stupid. Bendetti --the skinny one-- constantly nags Kovacs --the hefty one-- about eating and smoking and heart attacks, and I guess it's supposed to be cute and caring and all that... eh, they couldn't possibly die soon enough. Even if they died during the opening credits, it would be too long of a wait. Equally bad, or perhaps worse than the two detectives, is Lori's boyfriend, Perry (Fredric Lehne). This whiny, jerky little bitch is a hybrid of Greg Kinnear and Tony Goldwyn at their worst. He has a little jealousy battle over Lori going on with Max (Max biting through his brake line, Perry trying to poison Max), and I was totally rooting for the pooch all the way. Perry sucks. He's an ass, and we don't even get a satisfying exit from the film for him... BAH!

Now this is more humorous than anything, and it leads the film into some of the best scenes it has to offer, but I gotta bring it up to show how rushed certain parts of Man's Best Friend seem. Lori (Sheedy) breaks into the animal ~~concentration camp~~ research facility and Max follows her out, so she takes him home. The following day, she lets a young neighborhood boy on roller blades take the pooch out for a stroll. She doesn't know that the dog is dangerous as shit, but that's the thing; she doesn't fucking know! He could be a goddamn hound from hell for all she knows, but “Yeah kid, of course you can take Max to meet your dog!” It's hilarious. Like I mentioned above: leave your brain at the door.

All kinds of eye candy here. POV Max-cam is amazing all over this bitch! Running from the cops, chasing scared shitless victims, climbing up the side of a house, it rules and totally puts you behind the eyes of this psycho mutt. Equally awesome is Max peeping through a keyhole, which jumps back from POV to his eyes opening wider and dilating. The slo-mo mailman chase scene is awesome; it really helps convey the terror within the postal worker as Max leaps bushes and rushes in for the attack. Most of the direction where Max isn't on screen is pretty basic. There's a few cool crane cam shots, such as one looming over and lowering down into the junkyard of doom, but there could have been more. Luckily, the movie is largely about the dog, and the cam work involved in this aspect is pretty on point.

When I think of Ally Sheedy, the first 3 movies that come to mind are St. Elmo's Fire, The Breakfast Club, and Man's Best Friend. She's been all over the place, but these are the most memorable to me. I always thought she was cute as a button back in the day. Here as Lori she definitely isn't as hot as she was in the Brat-Pack days, but I love the cute little haircut she's got going on. Unfortunately, Sheedy isn't given enough to do as a lead female, but for what there is to work with, she makes it happen. Lance Henriksen as Dr. Jarret, on the other hand, is given a good bit of background that explains the reasoning behind his mad scientist-like qualities. And while the dude is pretty fucking nuts, he makes a valid argument with the detectives after the mauled body of a gang-banger is found behind a dumpster. While the coppers are calling it vicious murder, Dr. Jarret says Max should be awarded for getting the job done, and I gotta agree. Henriksen nails how on edge his character is supposed to be. 9 times out of 10, the genre vet is a helluva lot of fun to watch, and this is one of those instances. The late Max is played by... Max. Seriously, this dog is the show stealer, rightfully so. He was definitely well trained. Max can pull off the cute little pooch shit just as well as the “I'm about to rip your fucking head off and spit it at you” looks and growls. Sure, all dogs give these emotions off, but on camera it has to be a bit demanding. I can't find any other films Max has credit for, if any, and that's a shame. You ruled, dude.

Kevin Yagher takes the lead for SFX, and I love the dude's work. The blood flow here is kind of light, but wow to the scars and burn marks on Max. How fucking hard is it to apply makeup FX to an animal? It's really impressive here; not just what's done to Max, but some of the other animals at the research facility look ghastly as shit, particularly a chimpanzee with his head open to reveal the brains. Victims being dragged through their own blood, a waste disposal full of animal body parts (kinda quick lame view of it), a nasty scar on Max's belly, a few intense bite scenes, and more. I don't believe Yagher handled the fake dog head props used for attack shots; they look goofy as hell, but I love them. And the sequence where Max chases a neighborhood cat up a tree is goddamn brilliant.

The film score is jammed out by Joel Goldsmith (The fan-fucking-tastic Jerry Goldsmith's oldest son) and Alex Wilkinson. There's some good musical transitions in Man's Best Friend, especially the opening credits. The camera rolls over multiple paintings of dogs being all kind and loverly; it's some real Benji level shit, at first. Then, BAM! With little warning, the visuals change to vicious mutts biting mother fuckers and ripping them apart, and the music trades in that heartfelt appeal for some orchestral thrash compositions. It's pretty awesome. Excellent use of Paul Anka's 'Puppy Love' --performed by Marty Blasick-- here, too.

Wrapping this up: Man's Best Friend is a pretty damn fun horror flick. Some alcoholic beverages and/or a big ole fat joint will enhance the laughs, as well. Gotta say, while Max does go batshit crazy as the film progresses, I was on his side the whole time.

Favorite stuff:

****IT'S ALL ABOUT MAX****

The shit Max does! Bustin' through air vents, leaping shopping carts, grabbing a towel for Lori when she gets out of the shower, fetching a brake line for a mechanic, pissing acid... etc. The dog is fucking ACE.