Wizards And Worriers: Sleepwalkers (1992)

Sleepwalkers (1992)

Starring: Brian Krause, Madchen Amick, Alice Krige

Writer: Stephen King

Director: Mick Garris

****This write-up has more spoilers than this film has cats****

Story:

A supernatural mother and son need the life force of a female virgin to stay alive. After shit goes south in Bodega Bay, California, they move to a rural town, where Charles (the son) meets Tanya. After discovering that she is indeed pure, Charles takes Tanya on a date to the local cemetery. Ultimately, things get pretty fucking bonkers.

Review:

I guess Stephen King started writing this with a book in mind and said “Fuck it. It'll work better as a screenplay.” Kinda makes sense, as on many occasions Sleepwalkers feels like cliff notes for a much larger scale story --as do many adaptations to King's actual novels. It's a pretty quick run through an exciting and fun yet sometimes frustrating yarn. Lots of bizarreness going on. You got a mother and son that love to dance and fuck each others brains out on the daily. Maybe it's not that bizarre, since they aren't human. Still, kinda bizarre. We got some deeply sympathetic shit, too, such as the story Charles reads in class about his kind. It's disappointing that they don't keep the heartfelt formula throughout --I'll explain in a bit. Sleepwalkers are one seriously awesome breed of species. They can shape shift, they can shape shift vehicles, turn transparent, and they make your day suck shit on a gigantic scale... especially if you're a female virgin. There's tons of other stuff that make this film awesome by chance: the typical Podunk town lame brain police force, a plentiful demonstration of Stephen King's love for cats, single gunshots that cause cars to explode, and so on. With that being said, there's also a few things in Sleepwalkers that don't completely work.

For starters, does Charles like Tanya or not? I mean shit. This is pretty shoddy storytelling, in my opinion. It's almost like King can't even decide this himself. Let's examine it: Charles is carving Tanya's name into his arm before he actually ever says a word to her. Ya know, maybe this is a tradition thing for him for every virgin he gets a hold of. Still kind of weird, and it gets weirder. If Charles really DOESN'T care for Tanya, why all the missed opportunities to kill her and get the life force that he and his mother need? He could have taken care of this from the start, when he shows up at the theater she works at and offers her a ride home. He clearly had no intention of giving her a ride, as he ends up walking home when the show's over. But the hesitance really comes out on the day Tanya shows up at Charles' house prematurely for their date at Homeleand cemetery. If there were no feelings, Charles and his mother could have easily offed this girl and been on their way. It doesn't even matter if Tanya's parents knew where she was going and whom she was going with; the Sleepwalkers could just flee as they always do when shit gets out of hand. But no, Charles rushes them out the door and onto Homeland cemetery. And even there he continues to fight his urges, he goes as far as warning her that she doesn't truly know him. And for no fucking reason, apparently, because when they start making out the iffy “does he care for her or not” shit quickly ceases. It doesn't come off like a good and suspenseful twist; it comes off sloppy and unsure. Which leads me to a bit more bitching...

Okay, Sleepwalkers starts off insanely dark and moody. Not much of anything to laugh at, and I loved it. Once Charles makes his first kill, in comes some “funny” stuff. I throw that word in quotations because it's not fucking funny, at all. I figure, ah, it's okay, it's only one scene. But at the cemetery (where he transitions from charmer teenage boy to batshit crazy mutant killer), it's full on one-liner ass raping at every corner. And these are some terribly executed and terribly thought out one-liners. Had the character been kept at a sinister level, this would have been awesome. Nah, we gotta go through a few minutes of ear piercing stupidity. And why? After this sequence, Charles is damn near completely worthless for the rest of the film. Luckily when momma takes over, things level up to outta fuckin' hand. She has a few cheesy lines here and there, but nothing as bad as that cemetery scene. It sucks, because that part is pretty damn entertaining if you don't think about the failed comedy aspect of it all.

Placing all my crybaby whining on the back burner, there's still a ton of awesomeness in Sleepwalkers that makes me love it immensely. Here we go.

Favorites:

That is one bad ass mustache, Officer Skywalker.

This dance. She's doing a terrible job at cleaning up, but who gives a shit!? SO. DAMN. SEXY.

The Buellers! Tanya stole Ferris' parents!

"I'm all butthurt because a student educated me on the fact that a box has six sides, not four!"

Epic Kung-Fu cat face closeups.

...Awesome

Andy and Clovis. Coolest dudes in town. Pretty damn tough, too.

Charles is a mother fucker... literally.

Momma Bueller VS. Momma Sleepwalker = the need for a new window.

Ron Perlman could eat a goddamn planet.

Weirdy dance with half dead Charles. Not nearly as hot as the theater dance.

Guerrilla press slam onto picket fence. Shit always makes me laugh.

Visually, this flick is pretty fucking awesome. Sporadic victim POV running through the woods sequences that turn into spinning overhead views of murder. Over the shoulder driving cam, and some seriously sick car chase shots... the front views of Charles' Trans-Am rule! Back and forth POV of Charles getting bitch slapped by mother. Tumbling cam during cemetery make-out. Spinning run sequences. TONS of POV and slo-mo cat shots. Seriously, this bitch looks pretty sweet. All kinds of creativity. Props to cinematography, as well as props to Mick Garris' direction. I'm usually not too impressed with this dude in the director's chair. Sleepwalkers and Critters 2 is Garris at his best, as far as direction goes.

Onto acting: Gotta love Madchen Amick as Tanya, our leading lady. She has to play that goody girl on the brink of sexual rebellion, and she really pulls it off. The girl is so cute and so sweet and I dig every second of her on screen. Brian Krause as Charles nails that adorable new boy in town persona, as well as perfecting his character's hidden agenda. It's the comedy shit that I can't stand. I don't hold him at blame completely; just saying that it's a mess. Alice Krige as mother Mary Sleepwalker fucking kills. Bitch is intimidating. Runner up favorites are Dan Martin as Officer Andy and his sidekick, Clovis, played by Sparks the cat. These two are show stealers all the way. All kinds of cameos here, too --don't worry, you'll see.

SFX and visual FX mix really damn well, in this film's case. Tony Gardner (Zombieland, Lord of Illusions) serves as creature FX supervisor. On top of that awesomeness, the crew comes up with some fairly gory gags. Hand being ripped off (not shown) which leads to a windshield blood spatter. Wrist sewing. Corkscrew to eye. Pencil to ear. Glass flower vase to face. Death by corncob. Finger biting. Arm breaking, resulting in protruding bone, further resulting to victim being elbowed to face by his own elbow --whoa, that shit was deep. Nasty as fuck arm meets broken car window shot. It's gleefully insane here and there. Creature FX are awesome, and the visual transformations aren't too damn bad, either. Pretty impressed with the gore meter on this one.

Music is rad as shit in Sleepwalkers, too. Santo & Johnny's 'Sleepwalk' is put to excellent use (incest fucking scenes, ahem), and Enya's 'Boadicea' fucking owns me. That song is haunting as hell. The Contour's 'Do You Love Me' plays over the epic theater cleaning scene, and Extreme's 'It ('s A Monster)' jams for a bad ass car chase segment. There's also some Joe Satriani level shit playing over chase scenes, as well. All in all, the music accompanies the film nicely.

I've said a whole fuck ton here, so I'm just gonna leave it at Sleepwalkers is like losing your virginity- it's not perfect, but it still feels pretty goddamn good.

Random: