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| Design by Frank Browning |
A CASE OF THE SLATERS: A History on the
Darkside
Writer: James Harris
Man lives in the sunlit world of what
he believes to be reality, but there is, unseen by most, an
underworld. A place that is just as real but not as brightly lit… a
darkside.
If you had just heard those words and
then heard a rather loud synthesizer crash that must have been made
by two dead hands slapping a keyboard sometime in the early 1980’s
then you were about to watch TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE. The
screen would start off with a gently rolling countryside and an eerie
trickle of melodic notes dancing accompanying a narrator’s voice.
If you were not alive to see Tales from the Darkside on television
when it first aired then it may be too late for you to fully
appreciate how horrifying it was. Chances are good that you’ve seen
quite a few horror television programs that are more realistic or
whose acting is above par. While I can remember wetting my PJ’s
after hearing this nightly introduction into anthology-based terror
TV programming, it’s dated. I’m fairly certain people don’t use
synthesizers any longer (only robots use them now) and that the
horrifying presence of Donald Rubinstein’s theme music is now
fodder for electro clash dweebies to remix, remaster and repeat. I’m
pretty sure we’ve colorized all the black and white television
so that even the black and white part of this introduction is
actually just a digitally altered color portrait of “the darkside”.
I sound like a curmudgeon pining for the days of old. I am THAT
curmudgeon pining away. When Aquanet could still destroy the
o-zone and the credits to television programs actually meant
something as is the case in our entry into Slaterocalypse.
Now I know what you’re thinking, how
does the television program fit into a week dedicated to Christian
Slater. After all, wasn’t Slater contribution to Tales from the
Darkside in the film from 1990 in the installment Lot 249? Sure,
that’s true. Christian Slater played opposite Steve Buscemi and
Julianne Moore in the story about a mummy out to get some revenge
for the book worm that couldn’t get revenge for himself. Open his
eyes and all that… But Mr. Slater appeared in a very early episode
of Tales from the Darkside that aired in December of 1984 by the name
of A Case of the Stubborns. Let’s expound upon that for awhile.
Season Numero Uno. Episode Nueve!
Before Christian Slater was to grace
our presence in some of his more notable work, the movies you’ll
know and love him in, he had quite the television resume. He started
off in a TV movie entitled Sherlock Holmes as Billy, went on to
appear in a show called CBS Library (the Invisible Boy Segment…ooo),
ABC Weekend Specials (The Haunted Mansion Mystery… horrifying to be
certain and again as..BILLY), Living Proof: The Hank Williams Jr.
Story (oh what stories we have to tell about Hank Williams Jr. now)
and then… we come to the subject at hand, Tales from the Darkside
where Mr. Slater will appear as Jody Tolliver complete with raspy
voice all be it just on the other side of puberty and looking almost
mousy.
The story itself is written by Robert
Bloch… yes, that Robert Bloch of Psycho and Torture Garden infamy.
In just 22 minutes (including credits) classic 80’s television can
give you just a little bit of shudder from one of the masters of
horror. Granted Hitchcock wasn’t behind the lens to give you a
taste of Norman Bates’ motherly side, but the story itself holds
up. The episode feels like the short piece of horror fiction that it
is intended to be like that of Bradbury with moral implications and
just a bit of digusto.
Basic premise (from me):
Grandpa is supposed to be dead, but
he ain’t. When a boy and his mother sit down to breakfast and the
recently deceased shows up for breakfast, how can you convince the
dead that they’re just as “dead as Hamlet”? Titus Tolliver is
dead, but he certainly doesn’t know it. This is no time for
“funnin’”. Grandpa’s starting to spoil.
Storyline (from IMDB):
Dressed in black, a very subdued
mother and son (Christian Slater, age 15) sit down to breakfast on a
hot summer morn, after Grandpa passed away last night in his bed
upstairs. But cantankerous Grandpa shows up for breakfast too, lily
in the lapel of his best suit, astonished that there's no plate set
up for him! The more folks insist he play dead and dignified, the
more persnickety and odoriferous he becomes.
It’s not the scariest Tales from the
Darkside. It’s actually more tongue in cheek and attempts to give
the slightest creep out while basing most of its entertainment value
on cheap laughs, plays on improper pronunciation of words and a heavy
accent. There’s not much to the makeup used on Titus Tolliver to
make him appear dead. It would barely break the bank at your local
costume shop around Halloween… well, at least at first. He
definitely looks embalmed even though he hasn’t been embalmed yet.
You might even imagine the smell of decay if you stare at him long
enough. He wears the pale face of death. As Titus begins to rot, the effects men go to work with Tyler Smith and Joe LaPenna at the helm.
The rather stubborn man behind the dead flesh demands proof that he’s
dead; proof only arriving at the hands of our trusty effects
personnel.
Christian Slater’s role as the
grandson of the living dead grandpa is really a supporting one at
first. You won’t see him burn anybody and light his cigarette off
of them. You won’t see him delivering unforgettable one-liners.
He’s just a nice boy that would get his grandpa a flyswatter for
the flies that have started to gather around his rotting self. Jody
Tolliver begins to play a pivotal role in getting rid of grandpa by
visiting a Voodoo lady who gives Jody a bit of advice. I won’t
spoil it for you (you can watch it below), but let’s just say the
expression “sneeze your face off” won’t have the same meaning
after you peruse this one.
FULL EPISODE AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE
(Until the man gets a hold of it):
There are a few supporting members of
the cast worth mentioning. Eddie Bracken who plays Titus Tolliver aka
Grandpa has had quite the TV career and starred in movies all the way
back to the 1930’s and 40’s including a role in National
Lampoon’s Vacation and Home Alone 2. Bill McCutcheon, who plays the
doc come to convince Titus he’s deceased, starred in Steel
Magnolias (what’s that?). McCutcheon should be admired for his
role in Santa Claus Conquers the Martians! The Mystery Science
Theater 3000 crowd must be pleased. Tresa Huges plays the Voodoo lady
but was also in The Sentinel and Fame (Fame being the damn epitome of
the 80’s if you ask me). You may know Brent Spinner from Star Trek
as Data (and this simple fact will make you chuckle for several
moments after you finish watching the episode) and also in
Independence Day. He plays a reverend come to convince Titus of the
religious implications of walking the earth when one is dead. Barbara
Eda-Young plays Ma and was also in Serpico. Paul Sparer narrates (as
always) and creeps you out. He’s the star of this one if you ask
me.
This episode won’t earn Slater an
Emmy and mostly I adore it for nostalgic purposes. It’s reminiscent
of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark with its entire budget spent on
quality Hollywood veterans and a few television regulars. You’ll
have to wait another six years to see how Christian survives in the
Darkside.
Tales from the Darkside was originally
thoughtout to be Creepshow the series. Savini himself considers Tales
from the Darkside The Movie to be the third installment in the
Creepshow filmography to which I would wholeheartedly agree. The
series evolved as TV programs often do and the name changed, but the
basic premise would remain the same. Tell the scary story. Do not
have a central running theme. In the grand tradition of the Twilight
Zone, Night Gallery and Hammer House of Horror, Tales from the
Darkside gave a weekly TV audience something to shudder at for four
good seasons totaling 90 episodes.
The dark side is always there,
waiting for us to enter, waiting to enter us. Until next time, try to
enjoy the daylight…. Organ swells… flash production
companies…. Tribune Broadcasting Bumper. LBS (Lexington Broadcast
Services Company, Inc) Bumper. Commercial.
End notes: For those of you who don’t
feel comfortable watching Christian Slater “battle” his dead
grandpa on YouTube rest assured you have options. The entire Tales
from the Darkside series is available on Amazon for around $50. The
first season goes for $16 or less. Purchasing keeps America strong,
but I’m posting the episode because I don’t full expect that
everyone needs to run out and buy the DVD to appreciate the Slater
(not A.C., Christian).
Also, for more offerings from Dr. Jimmy
Terror aka James Harris aka James Terror you can stop by
WWW.DOCTERROR.COM and visit
Dr. Terror’s Blog of Horrors or meander your way over to
WWW.LIBERALDEAD.COM where I
maintain a residency as a contributing writer for a site that is very
fair and definitely undead. Follow Dr. Terror’s Blog of Horrors on
FaceBook HERE.
