I'm gonna use this section to offer up a little info on what Slaterocalypse is all about, as I'm sure some people are wondering why a dude who talks largely about Horror and Sci-Fi is devoting an entire week to Christian Slater. It's really simple; I love all types of film. Hell, I'll even embrace a sappy love story if it's done well. I just figured it's about time I pay some respect to other things. Films that may even be responsible for shaping me into who I am. And truthfully, there will be some Horror up in here. There's a badass crew of great people accompanying me on this journey, throwing some of their own words down about the man himself and some of his films. I hope you all enjoy this week as much as I'm sure the entire Slaterocalypse crew enjoyed creating it!
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| Design by Frank Browning |
Writer: Brobocop
You ever get the feeling that
everything in America is completely fucked up? You know that feeling
that the whole country is like one inch away from saying 'That's it!
Forget it!' I mean think about it. Everything is polluted. The
environment, the government, the schools, the internet, you name it.
Speaking of the internet, I was browsing the web the other day and I
asked myself “Is there life other than this?” Because I can't
face tomorrow, let alone another year of this shit. Yeah, you got it
folks. It's me again with a little attitude for all of you out there
in white bread land. All you nice people living in the middle of
America the beautiful. Let's see, we're at 'BackOnlineBackOnDuty.com' tonight and it feels like a nice little clean page so far.
No one else is using it. The price is right. Heh heh. And yes folks,
you guessed it. Tonight I'm as horny as a ten peckered owl, so keep
your eyelids peeled because this is Ecstatic Eric Erection reminding
you to eat your cereal with a fork, and do your reading in the dark.
Preface-
Alright dear readers, I wanna talk
about Pump Up the Volume and Christian Slater. In order to get my
point across, I have to take you back in time to 1989. I was 12 and this is when I saw Gleaming the Cube I think on video
and Heathers premiere on Cinemax. Back then, Cinemax would play an
independent film every Friday night, much like they used to for
horror films during Full Moon Madness. I miss those days. Anyway, I
saw the Heathers preview for roughly a month straight. I was
probably too young for it at the time, but it just seemed so damn awesome to me. And it was. I recorded it and wore that damn VHS
thin. Gleaming and Heathers weren't technically my first intros to Christian Slater (that would be Legend of Billie Jean, which is actually more of a
Helen Slater movie), but they were the movies that made me follow
him. He fucking oozed awesome out of his pores in these films,
out-cooling the entire Brat Pack all on his own. Slater was simply the
raddest of rad.
Fast forward to 1990- Still proudly
riding on the Slater bandwagon, I began seeing TV spots for Pump Up
the Volume. I was 13; I had no idea what the fuck a pirate radio
station was, and didn't even care. It was a new Slater movie and I
had to see it, on the big screen, preferably. Earlier that
year my sister had taken me to see Tales From the Darkside:
The Movie. What a total bonus that was. I was one of the kids that
used to set the timer on the VCR for the show, so when a Tales movie
was coming out with Slater in a starring role in one of the segments
(the best segment), I was stoked. I didn't learn until later that he
had been on an episode of the series. To be honest, not until maybe 3
weeks ago. Anyway, back to Pump...
As I was saying, I wanted to see it in the
theater. My sister had no interest in it, nor did she even have any
interest in buying the ticket for my underage ass. It was that simple
back then, at least in my town. The whole “accompanied by an adult
guardian” rule was not strictly enforced. I don't know how many
times my Mom would drive me and a friend up to a theater, buy our
tickets, then just come pick us up a few hours later. Occasionally,
she would tag along (Elm St. 3, The Lost Boys), but for the most part
it was me and a friend. I can't even explain how bad ass it felt to
be well under 17 walking into a Rated R movie. Anyhow, for Pump up
the Volume, I chose to try it on my own. I attempted to brave the theater
and the 20-some year old ticket booth girls -who probably fucking
ate it up whenever they could turn a kid down who was trying to get into
an R rated film- by purchasing my own tickets. Why? Because me and a
friend met a few girls from school up at the mall where the movie was
playing, and I wanted to feel awesome by getting us all in on my own. Well, it didn't work out that way. I got shut down in a
heartbeat. Furthermore, I got kicked out of the little two screen
theater for throwing a hissy fit and cursing out the employee for
basically doing her job. My friend and I rode our bikes to the mall
that day, like any other day. It was a fairly long ride over train
tracks from the back of our neighborhood. But the ride home felt much
longer than it actually was this time, thanks to the failure and
embarrassment resting on my shoulders. "So be it."
Now, you may be asking “Couldn't you
have just had your Mom drive you and your friends up to the theater
the next day to buy your tickets?” Yes, I could have. Well, maybe
not THAT theater after showing my ass like I did, but she could have
taken us somewhere else and done the same. However, I wouldn't do
that with girls involved. It would have withdrew any pride I had left. I decided to wait it out and watch Pump Up the Volume when
it got released on VHS. Lemme tell you, the window for a theatrical
film to be released on home video back then was a helluva lot thicker
than it is now. 7 months minimum. I guess some films still take that
long, but usually we have to wait 3 to 4 months tops. That was a
fucking grueling 7 months, friends. Brutal. But the time did come,
and you better believe I was at the video store on release day...
with an adult accompanying me!
To be continued...
