The Space Children (1958)
Starring : Michel Ray, Adam Williams, Peggy Webber
Writers: Tom Filer, Bernard C. Schoenfeld
Director: Jack Arnold
As if the title of the film isn't self explanatory enough, this little bit of greatness intertwines with the opening credits:
-Space + Children = The Space Children-
This may come as a surprise, but these little fuckers aren't actually from space.
The jolly ole Brewster family -Dave, Anne and their two children, Bud and Ken- are on route to the Eagle Point Missile Project test facility because Daddy got a new job. He's gonna be launching a nuclear rocket -titled The Thunderer- into orbit! They will be living at a trailer park on a beach side cliff while pops works his magic. Shit is going real good on the drive until some creepy music comes jamming in. The two children notice a beam like light in the sky, and it likes to make really loud obnoxious noises. Whatevs, it's off to their new abode!
Upon arrival, the kids go out to play while Dave and Anne get into a little dispute. Anne none too much likes their new living conditions. It's just a strange change of pace for a city girl. The argument ends once Dave leaves to attend a briefing.
-50s film kisses are a lot like a first kiss in 5th grade-
Anyway, after Dave leaves, Anne meets their neighbor Frieda Johnson, who ensures her that all the trailer park residents like to have frequent weenie roast get-togethers. Perhaps things are looking up!
Meanwhile, Bud and Ken are playing ball and they end up inside a cave, where all the other trailer park kids hold clubhouse meetings. While they are all outside the cave being nosy, the beam light comes back, lowering a ball down to the surface. Upon inspection, the kids discover that it's not a ball. More like a fucking Glow-Blob thing, reminiscent of Allegra Geller's Fleshpod game controller in eXistenZ. This thing controls the kids, and in turn the kids control the grownups. If you try to hurt it, Glow-Blob will render your ass powerless. If you try to hurt a kid, Glow-Blob will AGAIN render your ass powerless.
What does all this mean!? What does Glow-Blob thing want!? Watch and see- it's only 69 minutes, for fuck's sake.
You won't get Gilligan, or the Skipper. You won't get the millionaire, nor his wife. No moooovie star. No Mary Ann... but you do get the Professor (I know, those last two were out of order), and he's a drunken, kid beating asshole. But he does have a funny little dance sequence when he comes into contact with Glow-Blob. Check this shit!
-Dude is fucking tearin' it up!-
You'll also get this dude's bad ass shorts...
And, thanks to Glow-Blob, when kids eat ice cream bars...
Phones become inoperable!
This shit is a blast. Probably best served with a brew or a mind altering substance or both. My only regret is never catching it on MST3K. But, if you gather some friends together you can make up your own drunken commentary. Definitely not Jack Arnold's best, which would be Creature From the Black Lagoon, but certainly a fun dish of cheese. It also has a fairly positive message about it. One that almost belongs in a smarter film.
Enjoy.
