Alright! Happy Sunday everyone! I got some winners for The Aggression Scale DVD and the Robocop Blu-ray. Instead of pulling names out of a hat I used Random.org, which is freaking awesome for something like this. So, first.... The Aggression Scale giveaway...
The rules were:
1) Since this is being dubbed the violent version of Home Alone, I want to play off of that. Tell me, if you were little Kevin McCallister left alone in a big ass house during Christmas, what would you do to fuck the Wet Bandits up? And how bad would you fuck them up? Anything is cool, lemme know!
2) After watching the faux crime film Angels With Filthy Souls, Kevin probably shit his pants, but then used the film to his advantage. He got a free pizza out of it, and he used it as an attempt to scare off the Wet Bandits before their main attack. So, what film would you use to scare the shit out of someone trying to break into your house?
The winner of this contest is Bill Brock! He entered via my Facebook page with the following answer:
1. I'd call the police on them. When the police arrive I'd tell them that they touched me on my dick. Well, not dick, that's too adult, I'd call it a peepee and somehow cutely mispronounce it so the police would say, "Awww" and treat the criminals roughly. So they head to jail and since they molested me they get repeatedly ass raped by men who aren't tender and caring lovers. Around the time of what would have proven to be a successful parole hearing--they would have gotten some super liberal people who want to send a message to the warden or governor or someone in charge of jail--their assholes have been stretched to a point that the rapists could no longer get pleasure and there is an attractive pothead who just got in anyways and, man is he pretty, they decide it is time for a shanking. Well, the one shanker just took a few hits of toilet meth and is shakey as hell. He misses killing them but stabs them in the spine. Now, as it turns out, the stabbing wouldn't have paralyzed them but one guy steps in to help. Turns out he half remembers an episode of Rescue 911 and thinks he should move people with spinal injuries--during the episode his mom's new boyfriend was beating her because he felt that Rescue 911 was beneath William Shatner's talents and maybe the someone, probably a woman, who canceled T. J. Hooker is a fucking cunt who looks like the mother and wants to give her what for--and moves them. So they end up in the infirmary and miss the parole hearing. In the informary are two guys with a taste for parapelgic sex--they hate all that moving--and things get really bad for them.
2. I'd show them Gone Fishin' and Rookie of the Year.
Alright, congrats to Bill!
Next up, The Robocop Blu-ray:
The Rule:
A synopsis giving me your idea of an awesome Robocop Versus The Terminator movie. You can alter timelines and universes any way you need to in order to work out your story. You can use characters from either franchise, alive or dead. Maybe you want to throw a Robo-Boddiker in the mix. I'm totally down for that! However you wanna spin it, I'm eager to read it!
The winner of this contest is Cory Carr from the SLAUGHTER FILM blog! Cory entered on the blog with this answer:
Detroit, being a major metropolitan area with no strong strategic purpose, was targeted during the second wave of attacks. During these attacks, OCP lost power and was destroyed as RoboCop was "sleeping" which left him inactive for much of what happened next.
After the dust settled, waves of Cyberdyne units scour these locations for survivors. Some being terminated on the spot and others being rounded up as slaves [or whatever happened to them in Terminator Salvation, I forget]. As humans are taken into custody, a cybernetic entity stumbles across RoboCop. Confused as to whether he is man or just machine in need of repairs, it brings RoboCop in.
Unaware of Robos existence, the master computer at the main Cyberdyne facility makes necessary repairs to Robocop, even upgrading him so he doesn‘t need to eat baby food for sustenance. He now consumes a mixture similar to the fleshy outer jacket of a Terminator. Hell, it’s all the same color in the end anyhow, but this allows him to eat much less often.
Once he re-boots, educated him on the attack and state of the world. More than anything the master computer is intrigued, and wants to study Robo in an attempt to make more of him, turning man against man.
Appalled by the offer to become allies, Robo draws his fancy pea shooter, delivers a bad ass one liner and unloads on the computer console. As he makes his way out of the facility he must defend himself against several attacks. Some cybernetic organisms attack on sight, while others aren’t as advanced and don’t have the capacity to detect Robo’s human parts.
After the dust settled, waves of Cyberdyne units scour these locations for survivors. Some being terminated on the spot and others being rounded up as slaves [or whatever happened to them in Terminator Salvation, I forget]. As humans are taken into custody, a cybernetic entity stumbles across RoboCop. Confused as to whether he is man or just machine in need of repairs, it brings RoboCop in.
Unaware of Robos existence, the master computer at the main Cyberdyne facility makes necessary repairs to Robocop, even upgrading him so he doesn‘t need to eat baby food for sustenance. He now consumes a mixture similar to the fleshy outer jacket of a Terminator. Hell, it’s all the same color in the end anyhow, but this allows him to eat much less often.
Once he re-boots, educated him on the attack and state of the world. More than anything the master computer is intrigued, and wants to study Robo in an attempt to make more of him, turning man against man.
Appalled by the offer to become allies, Robo draws his fancy pea shooter, delivers a bad ass one liner and unloads on the computer console. As he makes his way out of the facility he must defend himself against several attacks. Some cybernetic organisms attack on sight, while others aren’t as advanced and don’t have the capacity to detect Robo’s human parts.
Cut to the Resistance
A squad of resistance fighters are in the desert to survey an area that has recent Terminator activity. In the distance their squad leader sees something different, something he hasn’t seen before, Robo. He and his group watch as Robo is walking the vista. As he is devising a plan to ambush Robo and bring him back to their base, Terminators get the drop on the group. A few soldiers are wasted and the rest run for higher ground and Robo comes to their rescue.
Now safe, their leader is uneasy about Robo and still wants to take him in and show John Connor. Naturalized by some fancy pants futuristic laser weapon, they haul Robo back to base.
Inside the resistance head quarters Robo is getting the third degree from John Connor himself, “Why did they send you?!”, and “My mother never mentioned anything like you!” and so on.
But while this is going on, an entire battle force has been sent from Cyberdyne. While upgrading Robo they installed a tracking device which is leading them right to the resistance.
Things between Connor and Robo are getting heated as the battle force attacks. All hell breaks loose. People suspect that Robo is working with Cyberdyne and tempers flare, but now is not the time. They must defend themselves. Those who support Robo quickly take him aside and equip him with modern laser weapons [like RoboCop 3 but without a jetpack] to successfully hold off the Terminator attack.
Insert ridiculous Michael Bay style action sequences. This also contains a scene where the children of the resistance are in danger and Robo has a flash back of his son and leaps into the line of fire to save them.
When all is said and done the humans are the victors but their loses are high. John Connor then thanks Robo for his help and accepts his strange new ally. They are now safe but realize that their base is no longer safe and the survivors must find a new location.
Things aren’t over for Robo either. He feels personally responsible for the attack. He was used as a tool against the very people he has sworn to serve and protect. Robo proclaims that he shall be the end of Cyberdyne.
From Robo, a hard cut takes us to a ground level view of a Terminator skull as Robo stomps on it, smashing it under his foot. Then the title card for it’s sequel;
RoboCop will return in: ROBOCOP SHALL HAVE HIS REVENGE!
A squad of resistance fighters are in the desert to survey an area that has recent Terminator activity. In the distance their squad leader sees something different, something he hasn’t seen before, Robo. He and his group watch as Robo is walking the vista. As he is devising a plan to ambush Robo and bring him back to their base, Terminators get the drop on the group. A few soldiers are wasted and the rest run for higher ground and Robo comes to their rescue.
Now safe, their leader is uneasy about Robo and still wants to take him in and show John Connor. Naturalized by some fancy pants futuristic laser weapon, they haul Robo back to base.
Inside the resistance head quarters Robo is getting the third degree from John Connor himself, “Why did they send you?!”, and “My mother never mentioned anything like you!” and so on.
But while this is going on, an entire battle force has been sent from Cyberdyne. While upgrading Robo they installed a tracking device which is leading them right to the resistance.
Things between Connor and Robo are getting heated as the battle force attacks. All hell breaks loose. People suspect that Robo is working with Cyberdyne and tempers flare, but now is not the time. They must defend themselves. Those who support Robo quickly take him aside and equip him with modern laser weapons [like RoboCop 3 but without a jetpack] to successfully hold off the Terminator attack.
Insert ridiculous Michael Bay style action sequences. This also contains a scene where the children of the resistance are in danger and Robo has a flash back of his son and leaps into the line of fire to save them.
When all is said and done the humans are the victors but their loses are high. John Connor then thanks Robo for his help and accepts his strange new ally. They are now safe but realize that their base is no longer safe and the survivors must find a new location.
Things aren’t over for Robo either. He feels personally responsible for the attack. He was used as a tool against the very people he has sworn to serve and protect. Robo proclaims that he shall be the end of Cyberdyne.
From Robo, a hard cut takes us to a ground level view of a Terminator skull as Robo stomps on it, smashing it under his foot. Then the title card for it’s sequel;
RoboCop will return in: ROBOCOP SHALL HAVE HIS REVENGE!
Thanks for that, and congrats to Cory!
Thanks to everyone who entered and putting the effort into these giveaways! Until next time... Stay out of trouble!
