“The Bearded Bodyguard”
or
“Arnold Schwarzenegger kicked my ass
in every movie.”
By: Frank Browning
We, who are about to die, salute you, who are about to learn!
OK, so I’ma tell you about a man you’ve seen probably hundreds of millions of times, depending on how many Arnie movies you’ve seen in your life: Sven-Ole Thorsen. A champion bodybuilder from Denmark, Sven-Ole Thorsen got into the acting scene circa early 80’s thanks to connections with an old muscle-headed friend, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thorsen has appeared in 15 movies with Arnie and usually gets his ass kicked by him in each one.
I won’t go in the details surrounding the on-set romance between Thorsen and Schwarzenegger that took place on virtually every film they did together, but I will say that some of the sword-fighting happened off camera.
Seriously?
“WHO THA HELL IS THIS MAN AND
WHYEE ARE WE STILL WEARING CLOTHES?!?!!? KNEEEYAAHHHHHH!!!!!!”
<Whispering> “Call the
police…” - Clint Eastwood
What, too much?! I digress.
Anyway, I’ma educate your asses and show ya what you should
already know.
Here’s a breakdown of just a
few in chronological-ish order.
Conan the Barbarian – 1982
Thorsen plays Thorgrim.
Arnold plays himself.
Conan the Destroyer – 1984
Thorsen
plays Togra.
Arnold
plays himself.
Raw
Deal – 1986
Thorsen plays a
bearded Bodyguard.
Arnold
plays himself with slick hair.
Predator – 1987
Thorsen plays a
bearded Russian officer.
Arnold
plays himself with face paint and mud.
The Running Man – 1987
Thorsen plays
Killian’s bearded bodyguard.
Arnold
plays himself in spandex.
Red Heat – 1988
Thorsen plays
Nikolai.
Arnold
plays himself naked in the snow.
The
sexual tension between them is palpable.
A
few more flicks they filmed together include Red Sonja, Twins, Last
Action Hero, Eraser and End of Days.
Aside
from being in the films of his gentleman-lover, Thorsen also gets his
ass kicked in some other actions classics such as:
Lethal
Weapon
Abraxas:
Guardian of the Universe
Lethal
Weapon 3
The
Hunt for Red October
Mallrats
That’s
right, sombitch was La Fours!
Gladiator
So,
with all that said, keep an eye out because you never know where this
Schwarzenegger-lovin’ bastard will show up.
To
see all the flicks this man’s been in, be sure to give his
filmography a look: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0861752/
--
Frank Browning
