Back Online. Back On Doodie - Season of the Son of Celluloid

*There's a lot of times where people go back to an older movie they once loved and end up having nostalgia take a big bite out of their ass. But how often does someone go back to a movie they once thought was a steaming pile of crap... and end up falling in love with it? That's what 'Back Online. Back On Doodie.' is about. Each entry will be from a different buddy/buddette blogger. I was originally gonna run this as a week long theme, then I thought it might work better long term. Maybe once a month or even bi-monthly. But rest assured, this won't be the last time shit turns out smelling like a rose on the blog.*

Without further ado, here's Nathan Hamilton on Halloween III: Season of the Witch!

I hated Halloween 3 before I even saw it. In fact, Season of the Witch and I have a long, convoluted history. It went from being an almost mythic film that I couldn't wait to see to being a reviled anathema to becoming required October viewing. Allow me to explain the long and sordid tale.

I discovered horror movies at the age of 12. Yeah, I know, I was a late bloomer. There were no regular trips to the video store in the extremely religious Hamilton household, and certainly no horror movies. The only place I got to feed my growing addiction was TV. In my early teens, WGN out of Chicago and a local Atlanta station called WATL would always show a block of three movies on Saturday afternoon and, more often than not, at least one of them was horror themed. They would show 3 movies from a series; like three Nightmare on Elm Streets, three Friday the 13ths, or the three Child’s Plays that were out at the time. They showed all of the flicks from these franchises, but when they got to Halloween they would either show 1,2, and 4 or 2, 4, and 5 (6 was still a couple of years from hitting TV). I never understood why they never showed part 3. I recorded these movies to watch over and over, and it drove me crazy to have a gap in my (unfortunately edited) collection. Not knowing a damn thing about the movie, I came up with two theories. First, they didn’t have the rights to show that one for some reason. The second, and more attractive, was that maybe 3 was just too violent, brutal, and offensive to be shown on TV. While I knew that the former was more likely, the latter is the one I chose to go with. I built that movie up so much in my young mind. I salivated imagining the unairable havoc that Michael Myers wreaked in the unseen chapter, and I swore that I would see that movie one day.

My chance came in late 1995. Joe Bob Briggs had taken over as host of Monstervision on TNT, and that particular night they were gonna show Halloween 2 and 3. I was ecstatic. Joe Bob was the be-all/end-all horror guru as far as I was concerned, and my hero was going to take me to the cinematic promised land. As I watched Halloween 2, I scoffed at the kills that had once thrilled me, knowing that they were nothing compared to the mayhem I was finally about to see. The movie ended, and Joe Bob walked out of his trailer to give the introduction. That’s when he said the immortal words, “Well, I guess it’s time for the Halloween movie with no freakin’ Michael Myers.” WHAT? No Michael Myers? He proceeded to explain how the producers wanted to turn it into a “Tales From The Crypt” type series with different stories and that there was no Michael in this one. He went on a tirade about how this awful movie didn’t belong in the series. As he went into the drive-in totals, I was crushed. I had waited all this time to see what I imagined to be the ultimate Halloween flick, and Albino Shatner wasn’t even in it? If Joe Bob hated it, I hated it. Fuck this movie! Fuck it in its stupid ass! It would prove to be the only time my hero and mentor would lead me astray. I watched it anyway, but I had already made my mind up. I realize now that I didn’t give it a fair shake, but I was just like everyone else at that point in believing that any Halloween without the knife wielding Shape was pure garbage. I vowed never to watch that piece of shit again.

Fast forward to 2000. I was working at Hollywood Video when the DVD revolution hit. VHS was on its way out, so as they replaced titles with the new format I would buy the tapes for next to nothing. When we got the Halloween flicks, I seriously considered leaving the much-reviled 3 to languish in the dump bin next to the Olsen Twins tapes and the 50 extra copies of Titanic no one ever bought. But, being a completist, I bought it and added it to my collection where it sat collecting dust for two years. In 2002, I was boxing up my movies in preparation for a move into a dorm room. As I picked up that tape I noticed something I hadn't before; Tom Atkins was in it. By this time I had seen Night of the Creeps, Creepshow, The Fog, Maniac Cop, and a bunch of his other films. I had developed a great appreciation for the man’s work, so my years old grudge was set aside and I gave the movie one more chance.

As I watched it, I began to realize that I had been way too hasty in my judgment. This was a pretty damn good flick. As expected, Mr. Atkins tore it up. In fact, I think it rivals Night of the Creeps as his finest moment. He wasn't the only thing to love about this flick, either. It had a couple of really cool kill scenes, especially the laser beam face melting. Conal Cochran is the greatest Bond villain to ever not be in a Bond film. I love that the main danger is to the children. So many other horror flicks don’t have the balls to go there. I love “no one listened, the bad guys won, and we’re screwed” endings, and Halloween 3 has one of the best. It also contains my favorite hook up dialogue ever…


Daniel: Maybe I ought to get another room.

Ellie: That would look sort of suspicious, wouldn't it?

Daniel: What I mean is, if it'd make you more comfortable, I can sleep in the car. Be a lot better than this floor, anyway.

Ellie: Where do you want to sleep, Dr. Challis?

Daniel: (dramatic pause) That's a dumb question, Miss Grimbridge. (commence making out)

See? Now tell me that isn’t the most profound bit of pimpery since Han’s “I know.” It even has that rarity of rarities; a moment that I always turn away from because it freaks me out. It’s common knowledge that I’m deathly afraid of serpents, and the “test” scene with the Kupfor family gets the kind of reaction from me that is usually reserved for the “Well of Souls” in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Huh, two Harrison Ford references in one paragraph. How about that? Anyway, snakes coming out of that boy’s face through the mask holes and slithering on his dead parents’ faces makes my skin crawl. It’s my worst nightmare, and the big, bad, jaded Son of Celluloid doesn’t handle that scene very well at all.

I think where it succeeds the most is by doing what just about every horror movie of that era was trying to do; create iconic images. Those Don Post masks are straight up awesome. The silhouette of the trick or treaters in front of the orange dusk is one of the most beautiful shots in horror history. Then there’s that Silver Shamrock jingle. A lot of people hate it. I love it. Either way, there’s no denying that it will plant itself firmly in your skull and make you think about the movie long after the actual viewing is over. Brilliant.

For a film that I initially thought was indeed doodie, Halloween 3 has grown into a personal favorite. I own not one, but two shirts inspired by the movie. It’s become part of my annual Halloween celebration. I have a list of movies that are “must watch” in the weeks leading up to my favorite holiday, and it’s near the top. I have mix CDs that I listen to on the way to terrorize people at Netherworld (the greatest haunted attraction in all the land), and the Silver Shamrock jingle is on it. When it comes on, everyone in the car starts bouncing and singing along with the current “days ‘til Halloween” count.

Honestly, I’m kinda sad that I hated this movie for no good reason for so long. I still hear people malign it as “the shitty Halloween movie” and try to set them right. If it had been released simply as “Season of the Witch,” I think it would be hailed as a cult classic today instead of getting a lot of hate it doesn’t deserve. Well, I guess I’ve rambled long enough. I’d like to thank Brobocop for inviting me to share my eventual love for this flick with you, implore you to give Halloween 3 another chance, and wish you all a Happy Samhain. Oh, and for the record…

9 more days ‘til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween. 9 more days ‘til Halloween. Silver Shamrock!

Nathan runs the blog, Son of Celluloid, featuring reviews, interviews, con coverage, and more. Nathan's a good guy. One time he won an Intruder Blu-ray from a contest I was running and instead of writing the street address on the packaging envelope, I wrote the city and state twice. That shit floated around the east coast for around 3 weeks before it made it back to me. Well, he finally got the disc, and was really cool about the whole situation, when he could have lit my ass on fire for that. Rightfully so.


Anyway, check out Son of Celluloid right HERE. All October, he has "What Halloween Means To Me" going on, featuring thoughts from fellow bloggers, directors, actors, and so on. Check all that out, and hop over to the SOC Facebook page, as well! Thanks, Nathan!