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Tales From the Batcave
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
By: Mitch Reaves
I tend to find at least something to enjoy with
just about everything I watch. I've never been one of those people
who watch things just to be able to bitch about them. For me to say
that I absolutely hate something that I intentionally sit down to
watch, because it’s something I was interested in, is a rarity.
Sure, some things have been disappointments, some have been downright
awful, but still there’s normally at least one thing that I can
take away from the experience as a positive. I said all that to say
this, the day I saw Jason go to Hell in a small theater in LaGrange,
Georgia, I fucking hated the shit out of it.
Oh how well I remember the summer it was released,
it was way back in 1993 and I was but a wee lad, 15 years of age. I
had just really gotten into horror around the age of 13, and when the
first news came along that Jason would once again be on the big
screen, well, you can imagine my excitement. A brand new Friday the
13th film, and I was going to get to see it. It’s 20 years later,
and I still get ridiculously excited for new Jason, at 15, I felt
like I was going to die before the movie came out. My excitement was
further exacerbated by New Line Cinema, who marketed the holy hell
out of the movie. There wasn't a single day that went by that I
didn't see a TV spot, or see an ad in a magazine. Jason fever was spreading across the world,
and I had a terminal case of it.
Finally the day came, and my mother dropped my
brother and I off at the theater, which as mentioned was in a small
town in Georgia, which was a 40 minute ride from the even smaller
town I grew up in next door in Alabama. We got there pretty early, as
I was certain the movie was going to sell out, and I would have to
wait another week, which just wasn't acceptable. Of course my
brother and I ended up being two of only a handful of people in the
theater, which looking back shouldn't have been a surprise, but at
the time was. The theater lights went out, and I’m fairly certain I
let a girly squeal escape my lips as the trailers began.
Then the movie started. Things kicked off to a
pretty normal start for a Friday flick. Camp, at night, naked chick,
and finally… JASON FUCKING VOORHEES. I was 100% glued to the
screen, sitting on the edge of my seat, prepared for 90 minutes of
amazing. As we all know, about 10 minutes later, Jason takes a mortar
to the face, and doesn't reappear in the movie as himself until the
last 10 minutes or so. What. The. Fuck. I was crushed. I left the
theater angrier than I had ever been at a movie. I simply couldn't
fathom that New Line had screwed up so badly, and this flick was what
I’d been waiting so impatiently for so long to see. Even the fact
that the ending was pretty badass, and Freddy’s hand made it’s
infamous cameo didn't help. Devastated doesn't even begin to
describe how I felt. I even came close to swearing off the franchise
for good, it was that big of a deal to me. Of course I understand how
ridiculous that idea was now, but you try telling 15 year old me that
he was being irrational over a movie.
For many, many years after that I refused to even
acknowledge the existence of Jason Goes to Hell. It had hurt me like
no other movie ever had. It wasn't until Jason X was getting ready
to release in 2001, 8 years later, that I ever laid eyes on it again,
and I wasn't happy about it either. I did as I’m sure most of us
do when a new Friday is getting ready to release, I had myself a
marathon and watched every film in the franchise, and when the time
came, I even went and bought a copy of Jason Goes to Hell. It’s the
completionist in me I suppose, I had to have all of them, even that
one. I popped it in, ready to fast forward most of it, and yep, it
was pretty much exactly as I remembered it. But something funny was
happening, the mortar landed and I was well past that part, and I
hadn't hit the fast forward button once. I wasn't even mildly
upset either. Fuck me, was I enjoying this? It turns out I was, I
guess knowing what to expect helped, and while it was still my least
favorite sequel in the series, yanno, that beginning was pretty
badass, and that ending was supremely badass, and FREDDY’S GLOVE!
To this day I can honestly say that while it’s
by no means my go-to Friday the 13th movie, I like Jason Goes to Hell
a little more every time I watch it. It’s got a dark sense of
humor, a needlessly complicated and convoluted supernatural origin
thing going, but it’s gone from a furious rage inducing pile of
shit to a movie that I view as adorably awful but trying it’s
hardest. For me, that makes it hard not to love.
* Mitch runs Tales from the Batcave, one of the first blogs I followed shortly after starting Back Online Back On Duty. We hit it off immediately, due to our love for werewolf movies...specifically Silver Bullet. You can check out the Tales From the Batcave blog HERE, and the Facebook Page HERE. Thanks for bringin' the Doodie, homie! Happy Friday the 13th!*
