Yeah! Guns 'n Shit!
“You're
lucky he didn't kill you, too. Or rape you, then kill you. Or kill
you, then rape you.”
Or
“The
Running Man.”
By Frank Browning
DISCLAIMER: The
Following Information Is for Entertainment Purposes Only.
100% Medically (and Factually) Inaccurate, (contrary to what the Centipede told you).
Ever wonder where the inspiration for Battle Royale & The Hunger Games came from? You can thank Stephen King’s crazy, near-sighted ass. Running Man, released in 1987, is based on a science fiction novel by Stephen King, first published under the pseudonym Richard Bachman in 1982. (This part is actually true).
“Memememe…mememememmeme…memememememe”
So, for those of who don’t know, here’s the skinny on Running Man: A wrongly-convicted man (Arnold ‘KNEEEEYYAAAAAHHHHH’ Schwarzenegger) must try to survive a public execution gauntlet staged as a TV game show. Beyond that, there’s not much plot or meaning to this film, but that matters not, for this flick is packed full of rippling muscles, stereotypical 80’s action and classic one-liners. What else do you need?
As I normally do, it’s time to discuss the cast of this most bodacious of sci-fi/action bad-assery. Obviously, Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in this beast. Who the Hell else could pull off this kinda combo of wicked and awesome? I won’t waste any time on trudging through his filmography.
(Pictures Courtesy of the Schwarzenegger Library)
I will share a little-known fact about Arnie, however. Schwarzenegger broke into the film industry with Trans-Gender Pornography.
“GET OOOUUUUTTTTTTTTT (of your clothes)!!!!!”
Yaphet Kotto weighs in as William Laughlin.
“IT’S BEAUTIFUL KNEEYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!”
This crazy bastard has been in some classic shit, such as: Alien, Live & Let Die, Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare and an ass-ton of TV. In later years, Kotto gained some fame as an advocator against Chupacabra Abuse and fair treatment of all other fabled creatures.
“My ass hurt…”
Jim Brown comes in as stalker “Fireball”.
“If your hair looked like it came from a skunk’s Vaj, you’d burn bitches too”
Jim Brown gained fame playing football for the Browns (hehe) before he sort of broke into film. He’s been in some other cool flicks himself, such as I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, Mars Attacks!, Any Given Sunday and “Ho messo 5 dita nella sua mamma.”
Jesse Ventura flops around with fake hair and old Chrysler parts as stalker “Captain Freedom”.
“Yes, I know my chin looks like Buddha’s chocolate starfish.”
This crazy F-Tard has been in some wicked shit, like Predator, Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe (a personal favorite), Ricochet, Demolition Man, Batman & Robin and “Je mets 5 doigts dans votre maman.” Dude gets around.
You guys really need to see this if you haven’t.
Family Feud's Richard Dawson stars as Damon Killian, the host of “The Running Man” game show.
“Survey Says!!!... FOCK UUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!”
This mean old bastard’s done a buncha TV shit, like The Outer Limits, Hogan’s Heroes and Hong Kong Phooey. Dawson is also credited with the creation of the French Tickler and Cleveland Steamer.
So, in summation, if you've never seen this movie DO IT NOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!! If you have, watch it again and hush. This film is a piece of American History and must be preserved for future generations. The film preservation, or film restoration, movement is an ongoing project among film historians, archivists, museums,cinematheques, and non-profit organizations to rescue decaying film stock and preserve the images which they contain. In the widest sense, preservation nowadays assures that a movie will continue to exist, as close to its original form as possible. 90 percent of all American silent films and 50 percent of American sound films made before 1950 are lost films.
See what a difference it makes?
For more information on film preservation, please try the following links:
--
Frank Browning
